My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
