That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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