Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize