Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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