Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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