In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
