Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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