There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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