just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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