Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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