new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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