he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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