He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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