Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
