There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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