I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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