I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize