I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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