Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
