I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
