yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
