I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
