I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize