Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was like eating out sand paper
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
