That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize