The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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