none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
