wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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