I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
