If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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