TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize