hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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