I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
