Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
