just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
