Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
