i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
