Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
