DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
