I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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