I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
