either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
