dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize