these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
