she looked like the before picture.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Boobs are out for the taking
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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