By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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