i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize