omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
