I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
