For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
