i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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