i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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