I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How's work?
Spinning.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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