You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
