you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
