Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
