I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
NoShamevember. You game?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
