At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My dick has a subreddit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to calm my uterus...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize