I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
