The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
