Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
