Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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