I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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