so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
