I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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