i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
