Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
