this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
