I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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