You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
