sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize