oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
