I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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