Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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