How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
